1. Decide To Communicate With Care.
We’ve already seen the havoc poor communication can inflict on a relationship. So when I say ‘communicate with care’, I mean think carefully before you say what’s on your mind; because you can’t take back what you’ve said. That’s precisely why the Bible teaches us to be slow to speak.
My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God's sight. (James 1:19-20. NLT)
There were many times I wished I never said certain things to my wife. I wished I had remembered that she is not like me. I like people to be brutally honest with me. I feel I can take it if it is true, but my wife isn’t like that at all. Each time I have tried to use my yardstick for her; I have done more damage than good. So, communicating with care is not a destination, it’s a journey. I am still learning to communicate with care 27 years into our marriage.
Communicating with care means that you never shout at your spouse; you never resort to harsh or abusive language; you never wilfully dishonour or disrespect; and you never threaten to leave or divorce your partner.
The intelligent person restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a man of under-standing. (Proverbs 17:27.) Holman
If you commit to communicating with that much care, your spouse will feel honoured and the conflicts you have will reduce drastically. The emotional hurts will also diminish and you’d be on your way to building the rock solid marriage you deserve.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment – Dorothy Nevill
...To be continued next week.
Written by Pastor Tony Peters. Extracts from KEYS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE.