(1 Corinthians 7:3.)
Most husbands have probably heard their wives say, “I wish you were more romantic.” If you are like most husbands, you've probably heard it more than once.
Those words are not pleasant, but reveal the heart cry of your spouse. If you ignore or trivialise what she is saying, you will create an unnecessary vacuum in your spouse’s heart.
Most of us have only a vague idea what romance really means to our wives. Besides, we often think that we don’t have time to be romantic—in our fast pace life. There is work to think of, school-runs to plan for, and football games to attend.
Fortunately, romancing your wife isn’t as complicated—or as time consuming—as we make it out to be. In fact, I stumbled across a brilliant suggestion that removes the guesswork out of being romantic. It’s called Romantic Rituals.
A Romantic Ritual is a simple act you do on a regular basis to let your wife know how much she matters to you. Creating a romantic ritual is one of the best ways to touch your wife's heart continuously in the midst of the busyness of life.
Bill and Pam Farell, have had one such ritual since the early days of their relationship. Here is what they do. Before they eat a meal, they pray together, and right after the prayer, they kiss.
It doesn't take much effort, but Bill believes that it conveys to his wife that she is still special and desirable to him. This simple act has an even bigger impact when it is in public. Pam gets the message that her husband not only delights in her, but wants others to know it too.
Other examples of romantic rituals are:
- Saying “I love you darling” — every night before we go to bed.
- Saying a quick, heartfelt prayer for her just before she leaves for work.
- Sending her a short “I’m thinking of you” text every lunch break.
- Bringing her breakfast in bed every Saturday morning with a single rose flower.
These rituals do not replace taking your wife on a special date or surprising her with a box of Chocolates, but they create the type of environment that regularly affirms your love.
Do you have any romantic rituals in your marriage? If you do, the key is to be consistent. But if you don’t, here are three steps, Bill suggests you can take.
Step 1: Choose an activity that you do often, such as getting the mail, walking through the front door or washing the dishes.
Step 2: Add a romantic element, such as a kiss, a note or a statement of affection.
Step 3: Commit to do it no matter how you feel or how your day is going. The power is in the consistency.
If you happen to get a great idea for an over-the-top romantic surprise, take advantage of it too. But while you are waiting for that inspiration to hit, build a ritual that gives your wife the romance she craves now. And, guess what? You will no longer hear her complaining and saying, “I wish you were more romantic.”
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